Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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