so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
