Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I stole a fireplace last night.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
