If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
