Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
