Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
