I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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