I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
