so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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