I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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