are you so shy because you have an std?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
