ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He felt like a one man threesome
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
