But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
How's work?
Spinning.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
