Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
