Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
