Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
