I'm eating all of the evidence.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
