This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
