He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
