Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
