So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This baby is an asshole
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
