Define "chronic" masturbator.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Pants are for mortals
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
