i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
