Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
