FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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