u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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