how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I love having hate sex.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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