OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
