I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize