Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
