I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
