i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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