so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
