just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
