just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
