oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
