The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
