i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My balls are so social today.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
