mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
