none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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