I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
