did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
