Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
