no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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