i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
