so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
