Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Pants are for mortals
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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