the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
