I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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