To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
