That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dignity is for republicans.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
