She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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